A Taste of Falmouth: The Quarterdeck

The Quarterdeck on Main Street in Falmouth

The first thing you’ll notice about the Quarterdeck is it’s unique atmosphere that feels like you’re almost stepping aboard a ship circa 1700… until you take a few steps past the entrance and see the high-def TVs above the bar. But the restaurant is about as close to a ship as you can get on land. Local artist, Joe Downs, designed the restaurant with the idea in mind that he wanted to create an authentic feel of being below the deck on a sailing vessel. In fact, part of the interior is constructed with wood from MacDougall’s Boatyard in Falmouth Harbor; some wood dating back as far as the late 1600s.

On to the important part; the food. I started with a cup of clam chowder for an appetizer. Now, anyone who knows seafood, knows that Legal Seafood’s clam chowder is out-of-this-world delicious, so I’ll use it as a scale

New England clam chowder

to measure how good any other chowder is to better inform you readers. The Quarterdeck’s chowder is good, but I wouldn’t expect the white house to be

A sign that adorns the wall right when you walk in. So if you want a kitten, you know what to do.

calling in for an order for the next presidential inauguration.  It had plenty of potatoes and clams, which is great, but the consistency is what I found to be it’s only flaw. The broth was nice and thick, but had a bit of a powdery texture to it that I wasn’t a fan of. Overall, an 8 out of 10 on the Legalmeter. Definitely worth ordering as an appetizer, but order a cup, not a bowl, and save room for the entrée I ordered.

Shrimp and Scallop Scampi with roasted tomatoes is the bees god damn knees.

Shrimp and Scallop Scampi. For the seafood enthusiast, those words alone should be enough to get your mouth watering, and I’ll come out and say it, words won’t really do this dish justice. Everything from the scallops that melt in your mouth like butter, down to the sauce on the linguine is every bit as good as you’d imagine. The roasted tomato adds the perfect amount of flavor in contrast to the seafood to make a pasta dish that’s worth the visit alone if you’re anywhere near Falmouth. 10 out of 10.

A Taste of Falmouth: The Clam Shack

Every year around this time, I take a one week hiatus from apple-picking, country-clubbing, sheep-farming Stow, Mass. and spend a week in a wonderful little place down the Cape called Falmouth. It’s a week full of going to the beach, hitting the bike trail to Woods Hole, and stuffing my face with seafood, and I can’t get enough of it. This year I decided I’d review some of my family’s favorite restaurants to go to down here in a little piece I’d like to call A Taste of Falmouth. Enjoy.

The Clam Shack

Vineyard Sound from Falmouth Inner Harbor

The Clam Shack is very appropriately named, because the first thing you’ll notice (aside from the intoxicating smell of fried food) is that it is, indeed, a shack. But this small establishment with menu’s written on chalk

Talk about a Kodak moment. The two people who brought me in to this world, posing in front of The Clam Shack.

boards has a lot more to offer than meets the eye. There’s very limited seating inside, but plenty of tables outside with a fantastic view of the Vineyard Sound from Falmouth’s Inner Harbor. There’s even rooftop seating, but be wary of seagulls who aren’t shy when it comes to swooping in and copping that fat clam belly you’re saving for last. Seriously. My Mom’s friend came to the beach with us once, had a sandwich in her lap one second, gone the next.

Fried clams, scallops, and onion rings. Don't plan on any intense physical activity after consuming.

The menu consists mostly of seafood such as fried clams and scallops, fish and chips, fish sandwiches, lobster rolls, and clam chowder, and French fries, onion rings and chicken wings for those who don’t like fish. I ordered a large plate of fried clam bellies, a medium plate of fried scallops, and an order of onion rings, which was enough for my parents and I. The clam bellies were nice and soft as expected, with just the right amount of batter on them. The scallops were a little chewy but still very tasty, althouugh not as sweet as you might expect a scallop to be. Not as battered as some others I’ve had but still enjoyable. The onion rings were every bit as good as they look in the picture. The perfect amount of crunch is what makes an onion ring so good.

Deep fried goodness... mmm.

With its unique atmosphere and a view that’s exclusive to Falmouth, The Clam Shack is definitely worth a visit if you’re in the area. They are a bit pricy though ($70 for the clams, scallops, and onion rings, pictured to the left), but the price of seafood reflects market price so it’s to be somewhat expected. Overall, for its quality of food and view of the harbor, I give The Clam Shack a 7 out of 10.

Banana Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream

Got a couple of over ripe bananas being neglected at the bottom of your fruit bowl? Well if you don’t, go buy some banana’s and make this in a couple days. I figured it was time to branch out with my culinary endeavors into the realm of dessert, and why not start with ice cream? However, I can’t take full credit for this recipe. It’s straight out of the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream book, so if you don’t like it, you know who to blame.

What you need:

All the ingredients, minus the eggs, sugar, and 2 Hershey bars.

• Ice cream maker, or an alternative method of making ice cream. Google it
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1 cup milk
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 over ripe bananas
• 1 lemon (juice only)
• 4 Hershey’s chocolate bars

Yeah, I have fancy ice cream bowls. You wanna fight about it?

Ben & Jerry’s Sweet Cream base:
Whisk together your eggs and sugar in a large bowl. Add 1/4 cup of sugar at a time when you mix. Then add your cream and milk and mix all of it together. Follow the instructions for whatever method of ice cream making you are using to freeze the ice cream. With an ice cream maker it usually takes about 30 minutes for it to freeze.

Banana and Chocolate mixture:
Mash up your two over ripe bananas. Squeeze the juice out of your lemon, and strain out the pulp and seeds. Mix the two of them together. Chop up your Hershey bars and add them in to the banana mixture and stir.

Limited edition ice cream container. Get em while they're hot.

When the ice cream is almost done with the freezing process, add the banana and chocolate mixture and mix it up. Let it continue the freezing process for a few more minutes. Even when the “freezing process” is completed, the ice cream is still usually pretty soft, so dig in if you want, but I put mine in a container and froze it for a few more hours before indulging. Enjoy.

Loaded Scrambled Eggs

Everything you need to create this masterpiece, minus the cheese.

Tired of boring, old scrambled eggs? Me too. Here’s a different take on the classic breakfast dish that takes no more than 10 minutes to make.

What you need:

• 2 eggs
• 1 small potato
• 1/2 inch slice of onion
• Ham (1 slice of a spiral ham, or 3 pieces of deli sliced)
• 1 piece of American cheese
• 1 tbsp olive oil

This recipe makes one serving.

Ham, potato, and onion sauteing in olive oil.

Preheat your pan on medium heat. Start by peeling your potato and dicing it up along with the ham and onion. Saute all of it in 1 tbsp of olive oil for about 10 minutes, and keep it covered. Mix it around every few minutes to cook evenly. Beat your two eggs and add a dash of cream if desired. Once the potatoes are starting to brown, add your eggs and cheese in to the pan.

Loaded Scrambled Eggs and an Asiago Cheese Bagel from Panera. Dee-lish.

At this point the pan is going to be very hot so the eggs will cook quickly. With your spatula, keep mixing everything up so the eggs get evenly dispersed throughout. After 3 minutes the eggs should be done, the cheese nice and melted, and your meal ready to devour. Complement with an Asiago Cheese bagel from Panera and happy feasting.

Homemade Burrito

Delicious homemade burrito without the aftermath of Taco Bell. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

I love Mexican food, or “border food” as this would probably be referred to by anyone from Mexico, so I decided to whip up something I’d never made before and throw it in a burrito. Then I realized it would probably go great in a taco or quesadilla too.  Then I realized that a great deal of Mexican food is essentially the same thing, so you could really make whatever you wanted out of this. This recipe makes enough for 2 burritos, or one enormous burrito if you can stomach it.

What you need:

• Ground beef
• Onion
• Red pepper
• Jalapeno
• Potato
• Shredded cheddar cheese
• Taco seasoning
• Olive oil
• Flour tortilla or wrap

Cooked ground beef

Beef: Mix 1/2 lb ground beef, 2 tbsp of taco seasoning, and 4 tbsp of water together in a bowl and mash it up so the seasoning mixes in with the meat. Cook on medium heat for 5-7 minutes or until brown. While its cooking, you can start cutting up your vegetables for the next step. Once it’s done, put it in a bowl and cover it with aluminum foil to keep warm.

 

Red pepper, jalapeno, and onion sauteing in olive oil.

Peppers and Onion: Dice up 1 jalapeno, 1/2 of a red pepper, and a 1/2 inch thick slice of onion. In the same pan you cooked the beef in (this adds more flavor to the vegetables), saute them on medium heat in 1 tbsp of olive oil for 5-7 minutes, or when the onions start to caramelize. Once they’re done, put the aside in a bowl like with the beef and use the same pan for the potatoes.

 

Potatoes sauteing. A little extra brown from the leftover taco seasoning in the pan.

Potato: Peel and dice up one medium sized potato. Add a dash of olive oil to the pan and cook the potatoes, covered, on medium for 10 minutes. Mix them around every few minutes so they cook evenly.

Burrito filling for one

Once the potatoes are done, throw your beef and vegetables in to the pan with them and mix it all up. Sprinkle as much cheddar cheese as desired on top of it and let it melt. Once it’s melted, scoop it on to your flour tortilla, roll it up and devour. Dang.

Shrimp and Scallop Scampi

I’ll start by saying that this meal is a slap in the face to Italian cuisine. It mixes cheese and seafood, which is the Italian cooking equivalent of mixing water and electricity. If you can get passed that, you just might be able to enjoy this meal. If not, your loss. This was probably my most challenging culinary project to date, and fortunately for me I had the supervision of my Mom who has taught me a great deal of what I know about cooking.

What you need:

• 1 lb raw shrimp
• 1 lb raw scallops
• 1 lb angel hair pasta
• Extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tbsp Butter
• 1 1/2 cups parmesan cheese
• 1 cup half and half cream
• 1/2 tsp cumin
• Red pepper flakes
• Nutmeg
• Fresh parsley
• 2 cloves of garlic

Succulent sauce

Steve’s Succulent Seafood Sauce: Try saying that 10 times fast. You messed up on the seventh time, didn’t you? Don’t lie. This is a sauce I concocted up myself. It’s a slight variation on a traditional alfredo sauce, but not quite as rich. Heat 1/4 cup olive oil and 1 cup of half and half cream on medium and stir occasionally. While it’s heating up, measure out your parmesan cheese and chop up your parsley.  Chopping the parsley is easiest with a huge knife like in the picture, but keep it under control cause this meal isn’t nearly as enjoyable if you slice off a finger while making it.

Finely chopped parsley

Once it starts to bubble, put in 1 1/2 cups parmesan cheese, stir it up and let it simmer on medium/low heat. Once the cheese melts in to the sauce, add in 1/4 cup of finely chopped parsley, 1/2 tsp cumin, and a few shakes of red pepper flakes and nutmeg and stir. Turn the heat down to low and let it simmer with the cover on until everything else is done.

Cooked shrimp

Shrimp: Crush up two cloves of garlic and saute them in 2 tbsp of olive oil. Now, if you’re feeling nice, you can take the tails off the shrimp before you cook them, or you can leave them on and let the person eating it take them off. Either way, it doesn’t really matter.  If they complain, you can remind them who just cooked a delectable seafood pasta for them. Once they start to sizzle and turn brown, add in your shrimp and cook it on medium.  Stir the shrimp around every few minutes. Cook until they turn orange (refer to picture) and empty them into a bowl until they’re ready to serve (cover with tin foil to keep warm).

Scallops cooking, very close to being done.

Scallops: Add a dash of olive oil in to the pan you just cooked the shrimp in. Put your scallops and 1 tbsp butter in to the pan. Cook the scallops until they begin to brown, turning them every so often to cook evenly. The whole process shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes.

Pasta: Angel hair only takes about 5 minutes to cook, so make sure you’re doing it close to the end.  You should start cooking it at the same time as your scallops.  Add a dash of olive oil and salt to your water so the angel hair (that better be what you’re using) doesn’t stick together. If you’re using a different type of pasta, I hope it sticks.

Shrimp and Scallop Scampi

Once your pasta is done, combine it with the shrimp, scallops, and sauce in a pasta bowl and mix it up. Surprisingly, even though this meal only uses 1 lb of pasta, it’s enough to feed six people.  Serve with garlic bread and a glass of wine and enjoy.

Grilled Chicken Caesar Sandwich

Joey likes it!

I love America and most of the things that make it the country that it is, so I figured I ought to do something American to honor it. There’s nothing more American than taking something healthy and making it unhealthy, so take a gander at this.

What you need:

• Italian flavored chicken (Purdue makes a good pre-packaged one)
• Lettuce
• Croutons
• Crispy onion salad toppers
• Mozzarella cheese
• Caesar dressing
• Flour tortilla
• Butter
• Non-stick pan

Now you’re probably wondering, “what the hell are crispy onion salad toppers?” So glad you asked. To be honest, I’m not even sure if they’re onions, but they taste phenomenal, and they’re right next to the croutons in the grocery store.

The salad mix.

In a small bowl, mix up your chicken, lettuce, croutons, crispy onions, cheese, and dressing. The amounts aren’t too important. Refer to the picture of the bowl for the right amount. It’s basically like making a small salad for yourself. Heat your pan to medium heat and butter it up. Put your flour tortilla on and sprinkle cheese on it. Let it cook for a few minutes until you start to see the cheese melt and the bottom start to brown. Next add the salad mix and fold over the tortilla and press down on it with the spatula until the melted cheese starts to stick to the salad mix. Doing this will make sure the tortilla doesn’t open up while its cooking, or when you go to flip it. We don’t need lettuce and whatnot flying all over the place now do we.

This is what it should look like before you fold it over.

Cook it for 3 minutes and then flip it and cook it for another 3, and you’ve got yourself some lunch. So sit back, relax, and eat two of them; one for yourself and one for America, cause at least now you’ve got health care for when your heart fails.

Pan-fried Salmon and Angel Hair with Clam Sauce

Have you been stuck sleeping on the couch because you didn’t remember your girlfriend’s dog’s birthday? You forgetful son of a bitch. Well here’s your ticket back in to the sack; a delectable seafood meal that doesn’t take nearly as much effort as explaining to her how unimportant her dog’s birthday is to you.

This was my first attempt at cooking seafood that wasn’t breaded and frozen, and for better or for worse, it was with my roommate, Andy the Mandy.

What you need:

• Salmon filet (1/3 to 1/2 lb per person)
• Angel hair spaghetti
• Olive oil
• 8 cloves of garlic
• 1/2 an onion
• 1 cup of clam juice
• 1 6.5 oz can of clams
• Red pepper flakes
• Salt

Andy the Mandy's clam sauce cooking.

Andy the Mandy’s Clam Sauce: Finely chop up half an onion and your 8 cloves of garlic. Begin to heat up 1/3 cup of olive oil in a medium size pot. Add the garlic and onions in and let them cook on medium heat until they begin to look clear and smell really good. Next add the clams, clam juice, and a couple shakes of red pepper and salt and turn the heat up to high. Let it come to a boil and then turn it down to low and let it simmer with a cover until you’re ready to add it to the pasta.

Angel Hair: Just follow the instructions on the back of the box because they’re better than anything you’re gonna find here, but add a smidgeon of salt and olive oil to the water before it starts to boil. Once the water begins to boil, you should start preparing the pan for the salmon.

Salmon frying in olive oil

Salmon: Take a paper towel and dry both sides of the salmon before you do a damn thing. Heat two tablespoons of olive oil on medium in a non-stick pan. Once the oil is heated, put the salmon on the pan with the skin facing up. Cook on medium for 5 minutes. Flip over and cook the other side for 5 minutes. It should look a nice golden brown on each side (refer to the picture). The inside should look, well, salmon colored.

Pan fried salmon and angel hair with clam sauce.

Once your salmon is done, pour the clam sauce in to the pasta and mix it up. Serve the pasta with grated cheese and enjoy. If you have any leftovers, give it to the dog. It’s the least you can do for that poor bastard whose birthday you forgot…

Breakfast Taco

What’s that you say? You want Mexican food for breakfast? Well, you’ve come to the wrong place, because there’s nothing Mexican about this taco. But if you’re looking to try something different for breakfast, you should give this a whirl.

What you need:

• Non-stick pan with a lid (and a second pan if you want. Makes it a little easier.)
• 2 eggs
• Flour tortillas
• Sargento taco flavored shredded cheese (or you can use whatever kind of shredded cheese, but it’s a taco so why wouldn’t you use the taco flavored)
• 1 potato
• 1 sausage (fully cooked. I recommend cajun style)
• Half and half cream
• Buttah
• Salt and pepper

Hash browns with sausage

Hash brown filling: This recipe makes enough for two breakfast tacos. Preheat your pan on medium/high heat. Peel one potato and cut it up in to small pieces (refer to the picture for size). Cut up the sausage in to small pieces and put it in the pan with the potatoes. Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a small bowl and pour it evenly over the potatoes and sausage. Sprinkle some salt and pepper over it and put the lid on. This is the fun part because you’re about to feel like a real cook. Pick up the pan and start shaking it. There’s really no technique to this as long as everything in the pan is getting mixed up, but I’d hold the cover with the other hand if you’re really gonna rock out just to avoid any casualties. Once you’re done shaking it, adjust the potatoes with your spatula so that as many as possible are touching the pan and put the lid back on. Flip them over after 10 minutes. They should take around 15-18 minutes to cook. When the hash browns are close to done (like in the picture), start cooking the taco shell (unless you’re only using one pan, then you get to wait.)

Taco Shell: Heat your pan on medium and butter it up. Crack your two eggs, add a dash of cream and mix it up. Once the pan is hot, pour the eggs in. Rotate the pan to allow the uncooked egg to go to the edge if the pan, and if you’ve read my last recipe, you know the spatula trick.

The cheese-melting, tortilla-grilling process.

When the top of the egg starts to become solid, run your spatula around the outside of the egg to separate it from the edge of the pan. Now use your spatula to slide the egg out on to a plate and flip it back on the pan, or if you’ve got it in you, flip it up in the air and catch it in the pan like a bad ass. I haven’t quite got it down yet, but some day… I digress. It should only take about 30 seconds to cook the other side of the egg. After that, slide it back on the plate, and butter up the pan.

The breakfast taco

Now take your tortilla and put it in the pan. Sprinkle your taco cheese (because thats what it better be) all over the tortilla, and then put the egg on top. Put the hash browns in the middle and sprinkle some cheese on top of them. Let that cook until the bottom of the tortilla is a nice golden brown. Once it’s ready, take your spatula and fold the entire thing in half and commence stuffing your face. Try it with ketchup, hot sauce, salsa, or whatever else you’d put on any of the foods that are in this concoction, but take it easy on the sour cream.

Chicken Teriyaki Omelet

Can’t decide between breakfast or dinner? Compromise, and have both. The chicken teriyaki omelet is essentially dinner wrapped in breakfast. I got the idea when I made chicken teriyaki for dinner one night and decided to do something a little different with the leftovers. I’d never heard of it before and figured, what the hell, how bad could it be?

What you need:

• Non-stick pan
• Butter
• 2 eggs
• Defrosted chicken breast, leg, or whatever your favorite part of the bird is
• Mashed potatoes
• Mixed vegetables
• Cheese
• Salt and pepper
• Milk
• Teriyaki marinade (I recommend Kikkoman)
• Olive oil or cooking spray
• Half and half cream

Chicken: Put the chicken in a big zip-lock bag and pour the marinade over it. Seal it up and throw it in the fridge for a few hours (at least a half hour but, longer = more tender chicken). To cook the chicken, grill it in a pan on low/medium heat with a cover on the pan. This will allow it to steam and not dry out, and make you look like you know what you’re doing. Cooking time varies depending on the thickness of the chicken, but usually 4-6 minutes per side does it. When you think its getting close to being done, take a piece out and cut it open to be sure. If it’s white inside, it’s done.

Mashed Potatoes: Fairly simple. Peel however many potatoes you want, and for god’s sake don’t cut yourself with the peeler because it sucks, and then you’ve got bloody potatoes and lets face it, who likes that? Cut the potatoes up in to small pieces (about an inch wide). The smaller you cut them, the quicker they cook. Boil them for 10-15 minutes (until they’re soft enough to cut through easily). Drain the water out of the pot and start mashing. The best way to do that is to use one of these. For each potato you used, mix in a 1/2 tablespoon of butter. Pour in a little bit of milk to start. The amount you use really depends on how thick you want your potatoes to be. More milk will make them thinner. Add in as much salt and pepper as you want and mix it all up with a big spoon, or mixer.

Vegetables: I kept it simple and used seasoned frozen vegetables that you can cook in the microwave.

The great thing about this recipe is that if you’ve become tired of cooking by now, you’ve already made yourself a nice little dinner, so you could stop. But then you’d be a quitter, and nobody likes that.

Take a piece of chicken and cut it in to small pieces. Take a scoop of mashed potatoes and veggies. Now mix all of that together, and you’ve got the filling for the omelet.

Omelet: Crack your two eggs in a bowl and mix them up. Add a dash of cream to make the omelet fluffy. If you have to ask what a dash is, then you’re not ready for a fluffy omelet. Heat the pan on medium heat and butter it (or spray it). Pour the eggs in the pan. While it’s cooking, pick up the pan and tilt it so that the uncooked egg goes to the side of the pan and gets cooked. You can also lift up the side of the omelet to let the uncooked egg run down underneath it. Keep doing that until the top of the omelet doesn’t look gooey. Now put your mashed-melee of what used to be a nicely prepared dinner into your omelet.  You should arrange it so that it’s in a line directly in the middle of the omelet. Now here comes the most important part; closing the omelet. The whole operation can get botched if you don’t do this correctly, so put your game face on and grab your spatula. First, put the cheese on top of the filling. This will help keep the omelet together. Once you’ve done that, flip one side of the omelet up and roll it over on top of the cheese and press it down gently with your spatula for about 10 seconds so the cheese can melt. Once the egg sticks to the cheese, roll the omelet over on the other side and let it cook for 10 more seconds. Finally, put it on a plate with some toast and you’ve got yourself a meal. Enjoy.