Shrimp and Scallop Scampi

I’ll start by saying that this meal is a slap in the face to Italian cuisine. It mixes cheese and seafood, which is the Italian cooking equivalent of mixing water and electricity. If you can get passed that, you just might be able to enjoy this meal. If not, your loss. This was probably my most challenging culinary project to date, and fortunately for me I had the supervision of my Mom who has taught me a great deal of what I know about cooking.

What you need:

• 1 lb raw shrimp
• 1 lb raw scallops
• 1 lb angel hair pasta
• Extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tbsp Butter
• 1 1/2 cups parmesan cheese
• 1 cup half and half cream
• 1/2 tsp cumin
• Red pepper flakes
• Nutmeg
• Fresh parsley
• 2 cloves of garlic

Succulent sauce

Steve’s Succulent Seafood Sauce: Try saying that 10 times fast. You messed up on the seventh time, didn’t you? Don’t lie. This is a sauce I concocted up myself. It’s a slight variation on a traditional alfredo sauce, but not quite as rich. Heat 1/4 cup olive oil and 1 cup of half and half cream on medium and stir occasionally. While it’s heating up, measure out your parmesan cheese and chop up your parsley.  Chopping the parsley is easiest with a huge knife like in the picture, but keep it under control cause this meal isn’t nearly as enjoyable if you slice off a finger while making it.

Finely chopped parsley

Once it starts to bubble, put in 1 1/2 cups parmesan cheese, stir it up and let it simmer on medium/low heat. Once the cheese melts in to the sauce, add in 1/4 cup of finely chopped parsley, 1/2 tsp cumin, and a few shakes of red pepper flakes and nutmeg and stir. Turn the heat down to low and let it simmer with the cover on until everything else is done.

Cooked shrimp

Shrimp: Crush up two cloves of garlic and saute them in 2 tbsp of olive oil. Now, if you’re feeling nice, you can take the tails off the shrimp before you cook them, or you can leave them on and let the person eating it take them off. Either way, it doesn’t really matter.  If they complain, you can remind them who just cooked a delectable seafood pasta for them. Once they start to sizzle and turn brown, add in your shrimp and cook it on medium.  Stir the shrimp around every few minutes. Cook until they turn orange (refer to picture) and empty them into a bowl until they’re ready to serve (cover with tin foil to keep warm).

Scallops cooking, very close to being done.

Scallops: Add a dash of olive oil in to the pan you just cooked the shrimp in. Put your scallops and 1 tbsp butter in to the pan. Cook the scallops until they begin to brown, turning them every so often to cook evenly. The whole process shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes.

Pasta: Angel hair only takes about 5 minutes to cook, so make sure you’re doing it close to the end.  You should start cooking it at the same time as your scallops.  Add a dash of olive oil and salt to your water so the angel hair (that better be what you’re using) doesn’t stick together. If you’re using a different type of pasta, I hope it sticks.

Shrimp and Scallop Scampi

Once your pasta is done, combine it with the shrimp, scallops, and sauce in a pasta bowl and mix it up. Surprisingly, even though this meal only uses 1 lb of pasta, it’s enough to feed six people.  Serve with garlic bread and a glass of wine and enjoy.

Pan-fried Salmon and Angel Hair with Clam Sauce

Have you been stuck sleeping on the couch because you didn’t remember your girlfriend’s dog’s birthday? You forgetful son of a bitch. Well here’s your ticket back in to the sack; a delectable seafood meal that doesn’t take nearly as much effort as explaining to her how unimportant her dog’s birthday is to you.

This was my first attempt at cooking seafood that wasn’t breaded and frozen, and for better or for worse, it was with my roommate, Andy the Mandy.

What you need:

• Salmon filet (1/3 to 1/2 lb per person)
• Angel hair spaghetti
• Olive oil
• 8 cloves of garlic
• 1/2 an onion
• 1 cup of clam juice
• 1 6.5 oz can of clams
• Red pepper flakes
• Salt

Andy the Mandy's clam sauce cooking.

Andy the Mandy’s Clam Sauce: Finely chop up half an onion and your 8 cloves of garlic. Begin to heat up 1/3 cup of olive oil in a medium size pot. Add the garlic and onions in and let them cook on medium heat until they begin to look clear and smell really good. Next add the clams, clam juice, and a couple shakes of red pepper and salt and turn the heat up to high. Let it come to a boil and then turn it down to low and let it simmer with a cover until you’re ready to add it to the pasta.

Angel Hair: Just follow the instructions on the back of the box because they’re better than anything you’re gonna find here, but add a smidgeon of salt and olive oil to the water before it starts to boil. Once the water begins to boil, you should start preparing the pan for the salmon.

Salmon frying in olive oil

Salmon: Take a paper towel and dry both sides of the salmon before you do a damn thing. Heat two tablespoons of olive oil on medium in a non-stick pan. Once the oil is heated, put the salmon on the pan with the skin facing up. Cook on medium for 5 minutes. Flip over and cook the other side for 5 minutes. It should look a nice golden brown on each side (refer to the picture). The inside should look, well, salmon colored.

Pan fried salmon and angel hair with clam sauce.

Once your salmon is done, pour the clam sauce in to the pasta and mix it up. Serve the pasta with grated cheese and enjoy. If you have any leftovers, give it to the dog. It’s the least you can do for that poor bastard whose birthday you forgot…